Cemetery jokes
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Look, it's the dead center of town!
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
What is written on the gravestone of a TV reporter?
"You must be back at 8:00 p.m."
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
I put the fun in funeral.
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.