Crime jokes
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
the face of a murderer
Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!
People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)