Crime jokes
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
What is Batman like?
He is an orphan.
What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?
"We are on time!"
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
Memes
Wade, What did you do? You're grounded for life.
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's cellmate.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
I ate a man because he was dead!
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.