Crime jokes
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
How do you make sure a rape victim doesn’t testify against you?
Kill her first.