Crime jokes

What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.

I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.

Davin is a pedo.

I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.

My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"

Greg is a pedo.

What's the best part of having sex with a baby?

Deep throat and anal at the same time.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I know a pedophile,

And he says he knows you.

Mosely in a white van.

Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?

It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.

Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.

Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?

Tess: No!

Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!

Tess: Oh!

What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!

I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍

What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

What do you call a Chinese car thief?

Tommy Tookamota.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

When do you go at stop and stop when done?

I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.