Crime Jokes

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

What is an orphan's role model?

Batman.

Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".

A three-panel comic shows a police officer telling a man he is under arrest, with the man happily saying "Hooray!"

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

I put a pipe bomb in an orphanage. 🤡🤡

I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer:

The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

Jorden Calerendiá.

I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

I have a body count of 7.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.