Crime jokes
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
What's orphans favorite game to play?
GTA5 because they want to be wanted!
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
Yo mama is so ugly that even scammers wouldn't go after her money.
Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬
Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.