Crime jokes
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What's orphans favorite game to play?
GTA5 because they want to be wanted!
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.