Crime jokes
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Me: "I like kids."
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles? They are fucking immature kids!
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"