Crime jokes
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
How do you get away with murder?
I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.
Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!