Crime jokes

Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.

Why do orphans have no parents?

Because it was Batman!

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Why do orphans rob the bank?

Because they want to be wanted.

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.

I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.

What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?

A PDF file.

What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!

How did the gay man die? Homicide.

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

What's with all the orphan jokes? Kinda sus. #fbi

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.

What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?

They fly a plane at them.