30+ Canada Jokes

What do you call a sophisticated American?

A Canadian.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"

The image shows four flags of different countries. Next to each flag there is an image of a speed bump from that country. The flags are: Italy, Sweden, Canada and what seems to be a map of Belgium.

im sorry m8

What borders on stupidity?

Canada and Mexico.

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don't lay eggs.

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

To say sorry to the other side.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please get out of the pool."

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.