Canada jokes
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
Here's how to piss off all of North America. All the United States is, is South Canadia.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
IM now only doing duck memes
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to? Roosters don't lay eggs.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
A down-on-his-luck Newfoundlander takes a job in Toronto. He hates every minute of it. The housing is overpriced, the traffic a bottleneck. Frustrated, he starts saving every penny until he can buy a car to go home to the outport.
Eventually someone takes pity on him and offers to sell him a car with no reverse for fifty bucks.
"I takes it!" the Newfie replies, "because I don't intends on coming back anyway."
I'm sorry m8.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
I guess Canada's national igloo is melting because of global warming.
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.