40+ Canada Jokes

What do you call a sophisticated American?

A Canadian.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.

What borders on stupidity?

Canada and Mexico.

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

The image shows four flags of different countries. Next to each flag there is an image of a speed bump from that country. The flags are: Italy, Sweden, Canada and what seems to be a map of Belgium.

How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"

I'm sorry m8.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.

Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.

Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.

Official flag of Japan? The Sun.

Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don't lay eggs.

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

To say sorry to the other side.

If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please get out of the pool."

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

Poutine with Russian dressing!

you.

If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!