Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell legalise and programme correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries, when Canadians are unable to correctly spell analyse, programme, and aluminium?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
hello my fellow canadians I mean ameicans I your cool and hip president has decied to give everyone free ice cream! even the russans to go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white. And they don't think Europe is a country.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B"?
Why did the Canadian cross the road? To say sorry to the other side.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy. They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
What do you call canadian weed? Canadabis.
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo"
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
What did the canadian say when a guy shot his bever ?. It is ok i forgive you.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures
If people who live in Canada are Canadians I mean if they drink Fanta they’re fantastic
if your Canadian in the kitchen then what are you in the bathroom: European
A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".
