Crime jokes

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

What's the difference between babies and onions?

You don't cry cutting up babies.

This isn't a joke but...

GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.

Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?

Are you ready, kids?🤣

Why is a white prison inmate scarier than a black inmate?

The white guy did it!

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

Why did the orphan rob a bank?

For he can be wanted.

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

I saw a robbery at the Apple store.

Am I an iWitness?

What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?

They're both gay and use knives.

What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?

They're both gay and use knives.

What day is international terrorist day?

September 11th, 2001.

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.