Crime jokes
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
I gotta do terrorist :)
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
"Proud Boys? More like proud snitches!"
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.