Crime jokes

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

Here is a joke: Rape.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."

I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?

Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

What's the difference between babies and onions?

You don't cry cutting up babies.

This isn't a joke but...

GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.

Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?

Are you ready, kids?🤣

Why is a white prison inmate scarier than a black inmate?

The white guy did it!

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.