That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside

somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of Dawn. Lets just say Dawn got very mad.

A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.

Somebody told me chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

What’s a good way to masturbate???

Get somebody to do it for u

How did stephen hawking die? Somebody threw an EMP at him

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

Its all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orfan, what are they gonna do… tel their parents

I would create an orphan website… But you need a home page to do that. (since somebody stole this joke before)🤷‍♀️

Daddy bear said, “Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed”. Mummy bear said, “It was probably your whore Linda”.

I was at my boyfriends house and I thought he was cheating on me and he was on the phone with somebody he said he’d be over there soon. so i asked him if I could see his phone he said no and then we fought about until I seen his gun and because I thought he was lying to me I shot him,went through his phone and his friend was still on the phone.

SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGET

The date is April 1st Somebody asks you what’s you are doing “I guess you could say I’m… fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“

How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona? A Cor-owner.

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