Car

Your mum

That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside

Twin Towers

Jack Wilson

Today is the day of 9/11 and we were in class making jokes and somebody said that’s sad and I was like why and they said “ today is the day the towers went down” and I said just like I did on you mum last night

Puns

Anonymous

Somebody told me chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

Difference

Anonymous

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Legs

Anonymous

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

Shooting

Really Mental

somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch

Puns

Anonymous

A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.

Orphan

Emilly

Hi hunter. Emilly wrote this

Why do orphans love having sex?

Becuase They can finally call somebody daddy.

Stole

Anonymous

Somebody stole my joke

So i stole their spinal cord.

Orphan

Anonymous

Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted somebody to call daddy

Baby

Booty

Somebody’s son said mom my dick has white stuff coming out of it, she said oh good one son so when’s the baby coming

Trump

Dat boi

Somebody told me to go to hell so I walked up to Donald Trump.

Good

Anonymous

What’s a good way to masturbate???

Get somebody to do it for u

Life

Anonymous

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

Egg

Anonymous

Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of Dawn. Lets just say Dawn got very mad.

Die

Anonymous

How did stephen hawking die? Somebody threw an EMP at him

Bill

Jahan/destiny

Stephan Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills He just couldn’t figure out who

Till

Anonymous

Its all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

Orphan

🔒Addi🔒

I would create an orphan website… But you need a home page to do that. (since somebody stole this joke before)🤷‍♀️

Dad

Y33t or b y33ted

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle? Son: Why? Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

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