Crime jokes

He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.

Be careful around EDP445.

"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"

"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"

How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?

They spray paint it like candy 🍬.

Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.

What's blue, red, and white and dead all over?

Trump's dead Russian mates.

What do you call a white kid looking at infants?

Pedophilia boy.

What do you call a triggered white kid?

A school shooter!

You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!