5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe

Russian history in 5 words: “And then things got worse.”

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ¨You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?¨ The Cuban simply says, ¨See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.¨ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Oh, OK.¨

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ¨You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?¨ The Russian simply states, ¨See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.¨ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Ah, yes! Of course.¨

The American scratches his head and goes, ¨I think I see the pattern here.¨ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!¨

What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree

“Guess how I got to Germany so fast?”

“Because I was Russian!”

Where animal does Russian milk come from?

moscows

A very rich and famous comedian walked in to a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him:

  • This vodka isn’t good enough for you.
  • If it is good enough for you it is gudonov for me!

Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.

Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled “vodka” and the lake changed into vodka.

Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled “beer” and the lake changed into beer.

American ran to dive,slipped,and said, “oh shit”.

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European

What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?

Russian malls

if at first you don’t succeed Maybe Russian Roulette isn’t for you

Why shouldn’t you buy Russian underpants ?
Because Chernobyl fallout .

imagine the russians showing up late to the 1917 revoloution with a tsarbucks in hand. they were late so I guess they weren’t russian. They were probaly stalin.

A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed.

Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: you can’t!

Stranger 2: you can

Stranger 3: how?

Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too.

Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters

Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let’s try this experi-

(the chat has been closed by stranger 1)

What do you call a Russian Prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoub....

An american is touring the Soviet union. A russian takes him to a school so he can see what its like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The american asks whats wrong and he cries “I want to live in the Soviet Union!”

A Russian walked into a bar… unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you

Why was the German in a hurry?

Because he was Rush-ian to get to work.

how many russians does it take to change a light bulb. I don’t know they just keep Putin them in.

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades?-- Because he was a Russian.

What did the American say to the russian?? Why u always russian

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