Pedophilia jokes

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

It's not pedophilia, it's early access.

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.

After 12, it's lunch. 😂

When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.

When I woke, I was being sexually abused.

What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.

If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?

Me: Because I love miners!

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.