Pedophilia Jokes

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

It's not pedophilia, it's early access.

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.

After 12, it's lunch. 😂

What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.

When I woke, I was being sexually abused.

If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.

If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.

If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.

Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?

Me: Because I love miners!

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.

Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.