Crime jokes
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
How do you get away with murder?
How do you get away with rape?
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.