Comedy jokes
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.