Comedy jokes
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
What’s long, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frog’s fingers.
Not funny joke.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
69.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.