Rooster Jokes

Jayden
in Difference

Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do

Gwen
in Puns

If chickens wake up when the Rooster crows, then when do ducks wake?

At the quack of dawn.

Anonymous
in Animal

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don’t lay eggs.

1
Sub to Mike's Bakes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you’re a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

Tylers mom.
in Adoption

whats the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says cock a doodle doo, Tyler says any cock will do.

Anonymous
in Dirty Joke

What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?

A cock sucker

Anonymous
in Bird

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cakatoo” “Cakatoo who?” “So you’re a Rooster now?”

Dante Medori

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?

A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!

Anonymous

“This isn’t the first time my husband’s cheated on me, but you’re my sister! You’d better have a better explanation than this magic lamp.”

“You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world’s biggest penis…ended up with a concert pianist that’s seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world’s biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world’s biggest dick and that’s how I ended up on top of your husband.”

Overwatch_Gamer321
in Puns

Why didn’t the rooster cross the road? Because he was a chicken!

Anonymous

What’s a chicken’s deadliest day?

FRIday

Anonymous

Rooster

Anonymous
in Difference

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A rooster clucks defiance!

Anonymous

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he’s cooking he replies “my dick and balls”

Hatchet

Please Fokes you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost…

Anyways

Knock knock Who’s there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate… Some nights I’m a real tear jerker! But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling “HAPPY”. Happy got out now they are fucking “GRUMPY”

What’s worse than waking up and finding a “Penis” drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was “Traced”

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn’t go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15

Iconic Memester
in Nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. “Chuck, how ya doin’? The missus doin’ good?” "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I’m done." This caught the bartender by surprise. “Chuck, come on, don’t be sayin’ that. Just look to the future and you’ll be fine.” “What future?” Chuck replied in a huff. “My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they’ll all suffer, and I don’t want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don’t know what to do.” “You know, you’ve got a good heart for a rooster your age,” Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I’m tellin’ ya, there will be more than what’s happenin’ right now, ya know, life’s got all its gears turning for ya, and there’s just a bit slow right now. The gears haven’t been oiled in a while, but who’s the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken’s Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. “No thanks, Phil,” Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck’s comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked… worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them… and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck’s eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.

Dtgvg
in Animal

Q:why did the rooster cross the road? A:to show he wasn’t a chicken

Anonymous

ima start callin these hoes roosters cus any cock-A-do

IDFC

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

Anonymous

What did the swearing hen say?

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! (It’s cluck)

What did the cussing rooster say?

Cock-a-poo-dle phew!

Anonymous

What did the rooster say to the hen. Goodbye

no1
in Lawyer

What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.

What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.

Anonymous

Who disliked the rooster joke come out now

Dante Medori

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?