Rooster Jokes

Difference

Jayden
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Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says.. cock a doodle doo The prostitute says.. any cock will do

Kind

urmomssecretonlyfans.com
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Q: What Kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip

I made that one up.

Light

Sub to Mike's Bakes
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

Little Johnny

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So little johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!

If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?

Little johnny smiled and said: A bus driver!

Dirty Joke

Anonymous
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What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?

A cock sucker

Puns

Gwen
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If chickens wake up when the Rooster crows, then when do ducks wake?

At the quack of dawn.

Puns

Overwatch_Gamer321
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road? Because he was a chicken!

Chicken

Anonymous
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What's a chicken's deadliest day?

FRIday

Adoption

Tylers mom.
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whats the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says cock a doodle doo, Tyler says any cock will do.

Poor

Anonymous
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"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Lollipop

Anonymous
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What do you call a rooster lollipop? A cock sucker!

Animal

Anonymous
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A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don't lay eggs.

2

Cross

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^

Bird

Anonymous
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“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cakatoo” “Cakatoo who?” “So you’re a Rooster now?”

Cross

Dante Medori
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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?

A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!

Rooster

Anonymous
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Rooster

Nothing

Iconic Memester
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?" "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done." This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine." "What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do." "You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. "No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck's eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.

Emo

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When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says Cutadoodledo!.

Cross

Dinoboy
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why did the turkey cross the road? it was the chickens day off!

Difference

Anonymous
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A rooster clucks defiance!