Science jokes

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?

I make science puns, but only periodically.

I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels.

He is dead.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.

Symptoms of Schizophrenia

The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:

Delusions

Hallucinations

What do you call a body without a nose?

Nobody knows.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.

What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Stephen Hawking = dead smart.

What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.

I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.