Science jokes
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
I make science puns, but only periodically.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost his WiFi connection.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error, error, error.
System shutting down.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.