How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... oh wait.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, "You can have anything you want.""
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
It's funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can't do any of those things
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
