Joshisboss14

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

You the bomb! No, you the bomb! A compliment in america, an argument in afghanistan

guys don’t let nobody hurt you with words like someone once said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

i went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

the way u talk is so slow that the put u in the movie fast and furious and changed the title to slow and serious!!!😂😂😭

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you. Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.