Type jokes
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.
A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!
Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
There are many types, good and bad, all at a reasonable price (€3.90 per week), and you can buy crushed stone for €5. It can be fresher and tastier than ever.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?
Family jokes.
Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!
Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.
I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.
If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.