Car jokes
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?
My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.