My family is like a treasure…

You need a map and shovel to find them.

What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?

It is ground breaking!

If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.

The shovel is a Ground Breaking invention. Slaps and laugh

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope??? Stopping it with a shovel.

During WWI and WWII the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches, I bet they really dig that weapon

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

I will always remember my uncle’s last words, “What’s The Shovel For?”



How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head? Stopping it with the shovel


Did you know that the shovel was a ground breaking invention?

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern Son: "Dad, it’s creepy out here!" Dad: “You’re complaining? I’m the one that has to leave the woods alone!”


Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?


Cause I’m digging that ass

the invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It’s groundbreaking!

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse. 2 people bought plants. 3 people bought shovels. 1 person yelled. 3 people left Bunnings Warehouse. 1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe, I said why do I need this she said that you every year.