Shovel jokes
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Xd.
Joke.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Beans
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!