Shovel jokes

Xd.

If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

The shovel is a ground breaking invention.

*Slaps and laughs*

What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?

It is ground breaking!

During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!

My family is like a treasure.

You need a map and shovel to find them.

I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"

What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?

To dig deep with his lyrics.

Joke.

How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.

I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."

Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?

Why?

'Cause I’m digging that ass.

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.