I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
what is a orphan's favorite car
a family car
Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slew down.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What’s big and black the road
Why was the computer late for work
He had a hard drive
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Potatoes
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road.........She forgot to put her seatbelt
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
