Car jokes

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

What is an orphan's favorite car?

A family car.

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.

What actor does an orphan hate?

Vin Diesel.

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?

Kermit in a car crash.

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

It was toad.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

Why don't dwarfs have cars?

Because they can't get in the door.

Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)

Why was the computer late for work?

He had a hard drive.

What’s big and black on the road?

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.