Car

Car jokes

Fly

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

Difference

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

Prick

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

Car crash

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?

Kermit in a car crash.

Crime

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Cat

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

Windshield

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

Apple

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Tire

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

People

Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!

Gay

Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?

Because at 69 they blow a rod.

Covid

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

Yo Momma

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.