Highway jokes
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
What’s big and black on the road?
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.
Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.