What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
How do you punish Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet
How did hellen Keller know she went to hell? SHE DIDNT
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
