Wizard jokes
The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.
Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Illusion.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
I was Gandalf the Grey.
But now, after just three washes...
Damn, didn't know this site was about Harry Pot-
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.