What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Running, JK rolling!
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door
what's the most unrealistic part of harry potter??????...
a ginger with friends
Master Has Given Dobby a Glock Dobby is Thug
What did Gandalf say to Mario? You shell not pass!
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Comments and join dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck
i am the grand wizard mak
Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
What do call a magic owl
HOOdini
draco malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: If i can suprise you, i get a free drink. The bartender was unsure but agreed. The guy pulled up a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket and he starts to play The bartender was suprised and gave the guy a free drink The guy then sais: You see, i have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes, can i get another free drink if you get a free wish? The bartender agrees without hesitation The bartender wishes for a 1000 bucks, but he gets a 1000 ducks WTF! the man shouts. The guy answered: Did you think i wanted a 30cm long pianist
If A wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been MUGGLED?????
why doesnt voldemort have a human nose? because his snake bit it of
What is a dirty minded harry potter fans favorite spell before the deed? dickus embigus!
