Car Accident jokes

Why did the little boy get hit by a car?

Answer: Because Sally was driving!

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

Why did Paul Walker cross the street?

Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?

Paul Walker’s Porsche.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:

"I have good news and bad news."

The wife said: "What's the good news?"

"We managed to save his arm."

"What's the bad news?"

"We couldn't save the rest of him."

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.

So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.

Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."

And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"

Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.

What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?

Mash potato.