A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
