Car jokes
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What is your car's name?
POV: you
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
Stig
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.