Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
why did the depressed person cross the road.
to get ran over.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
Why did i walk across the road?
to get hit by a car
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
How did the Dead baby cross the road? It was strapped to the chicken.
yo momma so fat that when she crossed the road people mistook her for a roundabout.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
why did the vegetable cross the road. He didn’t he just sat there
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay mans house.
why did the chicken cross the road?
the chicken next to him farted.
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
What Road goes all the way to the sky? A Highway
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
why did the chicken cross the road.