Road jokes
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
Why did Anne cross the road?
To get a new head ;)
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
Why can't the Ctrl key cross the road? Because it is an 8-lane highway.
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
Why did the Titanic cross the road?
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the otter side.
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.