Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing
chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket
When the speedbump in a school zone screams so you go faster
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Wen you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
Why didn't Sally get home from work.
She got hit by a bus
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket. Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
