Traffic

Traffic Jokes

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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I parked in a disabled space today...

...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

A cement mixer has ­collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

Comebacks when someone say Bully: Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic. Say: At least its brighter than your future

Credit x/@jesopa

whats the fastest way to get to the hospital? stand in the middle of the road

What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?

Mooooooooooo along