Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket. Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head
-JFK
What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing
chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket
When the speedbump in a school zone screams so you go faster
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Wen you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
the toilet paper tried to cross the road he couldnt because he was stuck in a CRACK
Why didn't Sally get home from work.
She got hit by a bus
A man is pulled over by a police officer.
The policeman approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem, Officer?"
The officer says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."
The officer is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The officer says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?!"
"She's in the trunk if you want to see."
The officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his own car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please?"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?"
The man opens the trunk, but there is nothing there.
The officer says, "Is this your car, sir?"
The man says, "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.
"One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."
The man digs through his pockets, pulls out a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
"Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
What did the green light say to the red light - don't look I'm changing
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Comebacks when someone say Bully: Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic. Say: At least its brighter than your future
Credit x/@jesopa
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? to get to the other side
You know that if it says adopt a highway and no one does were driving on orphans
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic
