Car jokes
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!