What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?".
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now
What is the worlds strongest material....... The tree that Paul walker hit
I saw an orphan on the street i said where’s your parents he cried and said my mum and dad died in a car crash 😆😆😂😂🤣
The parents use to hit him His parents got into a car crash and died He became an orphan in an orphanage, the people there hit him, he looked up and said "parents?"
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg. She got really scared and yelled at the doctor telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
Why can't people with tourettes learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Girl playing outside: step on a line and you break your mommy's spine She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming
Girl playing outside :step on a crack and you break daddy's back She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming
The husband starts celebrating gets in the car and starts to drive away
The son comes outside and steps on a crack
The dad then dies in a car crash
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash
The gay guy says "somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!" . The trucker says "what the fuck did you just say fucker? Get over here I'm gonna wreck your ass!" . The gay man then says "it's okay everybody don't call he police! He wants to negotiate"
Stacy:: honey I'm kinda new to texting what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, lots of love I guess
Margert: Stacy are you there, I don't know if you heard but Amber and her 3 kids were killed in a car crash this morning I'm in total shock
Stacy: lol
you were born on a highway in a car crash i wonder why
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building. So he had a much better flying record.
