Car jokes
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
Memes
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.