If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
