What does a broken down vegetable say? I need new wheels.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
My bumper sticker says:đź‘‹FORMER BABY ON BOARD
Why did the polack locked himself out of his car? Because his keys were inside of the ignition
Whats a terroists favourite car? a porsche 9/11
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
Why does sisters have to be in a relationship because you don’t have to worry about your car
My wife told me to treat her like a princess so i got drunk and drove through the tunnel
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? yeah, he was tired.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of jeff bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you and the mcdonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his bmw exhaust but his engine failed. This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
What’s the difference between women and cars? At least cars retained some their values after getting wrecked
if hitler was in a car doing his salute he would be saying take the 3rd right
My wife told me I could never ever build a car out of spaghetti , you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them contained their value after getting wrecked.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad
