The 25+ Best Turkey Jokes

Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.

What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist

hitler only wanted peace

a piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia and a piece of turkey

What do you call a turkey wean it is scared

A chicken

What do you call a Turk eating turkey. A cannibal.

why does an orphan cry on thanksgiving

family gathering

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because it was the Chicken's day off!

Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?

To prove that he was not chicken.

what the difference between a thanks giving turkey and my kid.I only stuff the turkey

"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" Said the turkey.

Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?

Becasue he was too stuffed.

Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?

Cuz it's a ham-burger isn't it?

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say "thats thanksgiving man!"

Here are some skeleton jokes You know the average person tries to hard and works himself to the bone If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone i can give you a real humerous joke I used to play the trumpet now i play the xylo-bone im always happy nothing gets under my skin I made you some turkey for lunch Bone appetit Im glad i had you im no longer bonely Ive got a skele-ton of more jokes but i'm just giving you one more Did you hear about the skeleton ninja he was very skullful (skillful)

johnny was watching TV when you hear them say bitch and bastards so he ask hes dad "what is a bitch and bastard." dad say "a bitch is a female and a bastard is a mail." then johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say ass and shit so he ask hes dad what shit and ass means dad says "a shit is shaving creme like what i'm putting on my face and ass is a coat why don't you bug your mom." so johnny goes back to the TV and then they say fuck so johnny ask his mom what fuck means mom says "fuck means carving like doing to the turkey then a few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door so he answers it he then says "welcome bitch and bastard may i tack your ass" the people then ask wear hes parents are johnny says "my dad is putting shit on hes face and my mom i fucking the turkey.