Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
What do milk and make a wish kids have in common , they both have expire dates.
i got a lot running through my head right now i wish at least one was a 12 gauge round
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”
Q: How do you know a wishing well works? A: If your mother-in-law falls down it
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down”. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee”!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."