Snail jokes
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.
Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.
Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.