Snail jokes
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.
Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.
Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.