French

Anonymous

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

Paint

Tony

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

Man

Anonymous

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?

Shell

Wolfy

What do you call a snail without a shell? Dead

Puns

Derplaney

One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said “I dont know it all happed to fast”!

Man

Saoirse Corin Conn

A man opened a snail farm.

He said that it is a slow moving business.

French

Anonymous

Why do French like to eat snails so much?

They can’t stand fast food.

Jesus

Anonymous

What was jesus’s favourite food? Answr: sNAILS

Fast

Anonymous

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Woman

Anonymous

One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)

Jesus

Anonymous

What was jesus scared of the most? sNAILS

Hell

Anonymous

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’

Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2015/11/26/the-ten-funniest-jokes-ever-according-to-science-5527698/?ito=cbshare

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/

Puns

Ninja

“Have You Ever Heard Of The Snail That Never Gives Charity?” “Yeah, He Is So Shellfish!”

Forehead

Ronans Big Balls

Why is Ronan’s forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings

Why is Jupiter’s ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan’s forehead kept it stuck in orbit

Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy

Eating

anon

ok so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him. it was a seven course meal if i say so myself

Loading...