Snail jokes
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.
Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.
Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails