A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening πππ
Sup peoples?
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What did the traffic light π¦ say to the car π? Donβt look, Iβm about to change!
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Whatβs a Muslimβs favorite car?
A CitroΓ«n C4.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
