My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head
-JFK
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral? He went from The Fast And The Furious to Gone In 60 Seconds
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In
How did they know that princess Diana had dandraff? , They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and know one is listening 😭😭😭
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm “This place looks scary” they kid said And the man replies” I know right, I have to walk out of there alone”
2 friends are talking and the one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The Friend says, "I was in my car."
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What's the good news? "We managed to save his arm." "What's the bad news?" "We couldn't save the rest of him."
Sup peoples
Why did Paul walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the the dash.
That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? i tried to lighten up his day.
