Haircut jokes

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!

What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?

Your hairline.

Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.

"Dad, did you get a haircut?"

"No, I got them all cut!"

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

What's the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy.

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

Site nearly as dead as my trim.

They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.

Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.

Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?

Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.