Broken

Broken jokes

Scarecrow

    • 1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

    2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

    3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

    4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

    5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

    6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

    7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

    8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

    9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

    10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

    11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

    12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

    13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

    14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

    15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

    16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

    17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

  • 1

    • Pregnant woman

    • What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

    You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

    What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

    They're both accidents.

  • 2
    • Broken memes

    Robber

    • Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

    To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

    Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

    The police said "How old are you?"

    Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

  • 1

    • Hot Dog

    • One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

    "What part of the dog did you get?"

  • 6

    • Skeleton

    • You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

  • 1
    • Broken memes

    Community talk

    • I'm gathering the pieces people had broken off of me. I'm rebuilding my self, a new hope in my eyes. I will strive to my military dreams. To my career. To my lover, My other. For my friends. Dor my future children. I want nothing bad to them ever. I will keep working hard. fixing myself. I am not an object to break and rebuild, neither are you. You are important too, strive for success long enough. It never comes eas… Read more

    • Guys, I went to church on Sunday. The church I used to go to has a new pastor. He has three girls and one boy. The girls are all around my age, and really sweet. And I was sitting next to the girls' side of the youth group, and one of their daughters asked me if I wanted to pray with them during worship. So I was like, "yeah sure," and I went in front of the pews to pray with them. One was holding my hand, then Paris… Read more

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