Toy jokes

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.

Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."

Kid: "Why are you doing that?"

Dad: "So you won't get bored there."

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.

Now they call him Hot Wheels.

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles.

I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?

A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.

SON: Why?

DAD: You're going to need them.

Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

They made the toys.

Why was baptism invented?

How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?