A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…”
Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?”
She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.”
The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?”
The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!”
“That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?”
The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom. The “p” is silent.
I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it’s extinct.
why cant you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? because the “p” is silent
So a women was paranoid so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed and if the dog licked her hand then she was safe.One night just before bed she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick so she went to bed. She in the middle of the night needed to go to the bathroom. So she walked into the bathroom and on the window it said: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO! Then she was murdered.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom? To search for Poo
My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
Boy: can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: if you sing the abcs. Boy: abcdefghijklmnorstuvwxyz! Teacher: where’s the p? The boys answer: in my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
Susie was in her mother’s room one night. As her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse, her boobs plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will i get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few year’s. Her mother told susie to find her father and say goodnight. So susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering . Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father’s dick. Shocked, susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, he said susie would get it after her mother went to bed .
Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Ur American when u walk to the bathroom. what are you when ur in there
I hate it when people are at my house and ask “do you have a bathroom?” What answer Are they expecting “no, we pee in the yard”