What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
