Broken Jokes

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i'm not gonna die the same way.

What nut 🥜 is broken?a silly 😝 nut 🥜

what do you call a broken chicken?

A broken chicken

What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?

"Yo, drop the BEAT”

Leo is like a broken pencil... POINTLESS

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheel chair, she'll come crawling back.

Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?

She didn't see anything wrong with it

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

a fat girl was dancing on the table and i said nice legs she says you really think so and i say yes definitely most tables would of been broken by now

stephen hawking went on a date and come back with a broken leg, I can't believe she stood him up

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

What does a broken down vegetable say? I need new wheels.

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.

(True story) Today I was bring some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “oh, now they’re broken.” And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”

Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!