What's the difference between an ugly monster and you. nothing
alirght im gonna drink the lo- carb one to see how it compares to the normal monster. holy shit it tastes just like the original one. theres like a weird afer taste though. kinda like a sparkling water one. i love monster ive drank about 5 cans already
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real and if they were you would be dead.
We all know albert Einstein was a genius but his brother frank was a monster
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools Pranks
A. Pranken stein
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks
skinny deformed creature in the distance
this is not a joke but if your uncle tells you, "{ bend over, touch your toes, i'll show you were the monster goes." don't do it hehhehehehehe.
You may not rest, there are monsters nearby”
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
big ugly and very weird
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What does Godzilla eat for dinner * the dinner *
your hairlne so far back you look like frankenstein
What is a monsters favorite pace to swim?
Lake Erie!
