Broken jokes
11:45 - Arrived at crime scene.
11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle.
11:45 - Found murder weapon in drain.
11:45 - Realized watch was broken.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT!"
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.