Broken jokes
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT!"
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.