Comparison jokes
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
Touhou meme idk
What's the difference between a knife and me?
One has a point.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Yo, your hairline look like a cup.
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.