Comparison jokes
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
You are so cat.
Why are women like parking spots?
Because all of the good ones are always taken first, and you gotta wait until they're available again.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
Your mum is stupid, just like you.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.
I’ve seen doorknobs more interesting than LEO.