What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary? One of them knows the definition of no.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you." Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? -- The computer runs.
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check. After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
What's the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
What do milk and make a wish kids have in common , they both have expire dates.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
