Project jokes

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.

His boss told him: "You suck."

And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.

His boss told him: "You suck for life!"

XD

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

The principal's office smells nice.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?

The Bear Witch Project.

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

"Wanna hear a construction joke?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Wait, I'm still working on it!"

What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?

You abort it.

Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2: Never leave home without it.

You wanna hear a construction joke?

I'm still workin' on it!

Do you want to hear a building joke?

I am still working on it.

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.