Project

Project jokes

Part

    • Voting is like doing a group project in school.

    I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

    Friend

    • So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

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    • Project memes

    Class

    • So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

    So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

    The principal's office smells nice.

  • 0

    • Construction

    • A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.

    One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

    Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

    At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

    When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

    "Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

    The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"

  • 0

    • AI

    • AI - AI - Rabo several projects:

    Decker: “No Hebingingennanorin and Chirver.”

    Alx: “Madam Bob Lee Hubn Vera 20”

  • 1

    • Glove

    • My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

  • 1

    • Voter

    • A day in the life of a Biden voter.

    $2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

    No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

    $15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

    50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

    No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

    Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

    New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

    Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

    Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

  • 4

    • Road Trip

    • A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.

    The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."

    The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."

    Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."

  • 0

    • Suicide

    • I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

  • 1