Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
What’s another name for cumming in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
