Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
What’s another name for cumming in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
