Broken

Broken jokes

Egg

What has to be broken before you can use it?

Answer: An egg.

Nose

"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"

"A broken nose."

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  • Guitar

    Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?

    It comes with no strings attached.

    Pencil

    A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.

    Doctor

    A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”

    The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”

    Parsley

    You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

    Robber

    Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

    To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

    Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

    The police said "How old are you?"

    Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

    Basketball

    I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

    I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

    Son

    "Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

    My son is broken: "I think at home!"

    Happiness!

    Delivery service

    A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

    I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

    Punch

    I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

    Car

    Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.

    The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

    Jesus

    Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...

    I think Jesus is broken.

    Fetish

    A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

    The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

    When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

    She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

    The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

    She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

    The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"