Broken jokes

What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?

"Yo, drop the BEAT!"

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Fix the door, it's broken!

I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.

Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.

What has to be broken before you can use it?

Answer: An egg.

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]

"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"

"A broken nose."

Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?

It comes with no strings attached.

You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.

A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”

The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”

When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.

Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

The police said "How old are you?"

Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

My son is broken: "I think at home!"

Happiness!

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.

A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.