Pencil Jokes

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.

"Correct," says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.

"Correct again," says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

you know what really gets me under my skin when im down? sharpener blades

I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn't get the point.

I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

whats the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? nothing, we're both broken

Why did the pen stop writing? CAUSE THE PEN WASNT VERY DEPENDABLE

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?please grind me!

you like to draw? bc I like the m d, raw :)

Did u know a erasor on a pencil slowly dies of your mistakes and did u know your actually supposed to live for 25 min but every time u breath resets time

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper

It's just to tear able

I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil but now it is pointless

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

What do you call a broken pencil never mind it’s pointless!!

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book? You look at the emo girl and say "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"