I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i'm not gonna die the same way.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman
They're both accidents
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at you're pun?
Looks like someones funny bone is broken😁
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheel chair, she'll come crawling back.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it
Broke my toenail yesterday, I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
a fat girl was dancing on the table and i said nice legs she says you really think so and i say yes definitely most tables would of been broken by now
What do you call a broken pencil never mind it’s pointless!!
stephen hawking went on a date and come back with a broken leg, I can't believe she stood him up
whats the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? nothing, we're both broken
You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
What does a broken down vegetable say? I need new wheels.
